Finding community and creativity at a Sue Ryder Hopsice - Steph's story

It all began in 2016 when I felt something in my right breast. At first, I brushed it off, but after returning from a trip to Ireland to celebrate my mum and dad's 50th wedding anniversary, I felt it again and decided to visit my GP. From that moment on, it was like a whirlwind. Two weeks later, I was in the breast clinic, followed by a biopsy to remove the lymph nodes. That’s when I was diagnosed with cancer.

The doctors asked me if I wanted chemotherapy or surgery first, but at that point, I didn’t care—I just wanted the cancer gone. I started on two doses of chemotherapy, but before I even could finish the second dose, they found that my cancer had spread to my liver and was non-curable. More chemotherapy followed, and though it was brutal, I pushed through. When my consultant told me that the tumour had shrunk, I just remember hugging her.

I returned to work in 2017, but in 2019, I started getting headaches. I will never forget the day we went out for a meal after work and then drove home, unsure how I even managed it. That was the last time I sat behind the wheel of the car.

I had an appointment with the consultant coming up, which felt opportune because by this point, I felt so unwell, unable to keep anything down. It was then that cancer was mentioned again. An MRI revealed a five-centimeter tumor in my brain.

I was immediately started on steroids, and for the first time in days, I could eat a proper meal. I was transferred to Bristol Southmead Hospital for surgery. When I woke up, I could feel a plaster on the back of my head, but I was convinced I hadn’t had the operation at all, even though my family had already visited me. I asked a nurse- I remember his name to this day, Craig- when I’d be having the operation, and he told me that I had already undergone it. I had been in the operating room for five hours. My heart rate dropped, I think, from shock, and the next thing I remember is him pushing down on my chest, reviving me.

they suggested I go to Sue Ryder Leckhampton Court Hospice. Initially, I refused, thinking, “That’s where you go to die.

I went to Cheltenham General Hospital for tests, and they suggested I go to Sue Ryder Leckhampton Court Hospice. Initially, I refused, thinking, “That’s where you go to die.” But oncology said there was nothing further they could do for me, so I agreed.

I spent two weeks in the hospice’s inpatient unit for pain management. The first medication they tried made me feel worse, but the second helped relieve the pressure, and I’ve been on that same medication ever since. From that moment, things started to improve. I could function again and, most importantly, return home.

I was sceptical of art therapy at first, but it became something I looked forward to, especially when I was at home, struggling with the loss of my independence. I completed a twelve-week course and continued with weekly sessions afterward. It became my way of coping and expressing myself.

When Covid hit, the sessions moved online. We did beekeeping, photography, and even physiotherapy– to be honest if I didn’t have Sue Ryder during this time, I don’t know what I would have done.

I have met so many lovely people; the volunteers are amazing, and the staff I would be lost without them now. We sit down for a cuppa and a chat, and sometimes people want to talk about their illness, but more often, we chat about everything else. It’s a space where we can share anything and everything.

Alongside the art sessions, we do crafts, and one of the volunteers even plays the piano for us. It gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Without it, it would be too easy to stay tucked up under the duvet.

I’ve discovered that I can paint, and I especially enjoy landscape painting. I love the artist Lowry as that’s quite simple but effective. One of the volunteers, who used to be an artist, is incredibly talented and has taught us so much. I’ll never forget the week when one of the volunteers brought in a Poinsettia for us to paint. What I love about it is that we can all be painting the same thing, but everyone’s perspective is so different.

A couple of months ago, my cat Roary died. He was only two and a half years old. I was devastated. He was my companion. I can talk about it now, but for the first couple of weeks, all I could do was cry. I spoke to Sue Ryder Nurse Becky, and she quickly arranged for me to come in and have reflexology to help take my mind off it all, away from home where everything reminded me of him. The Sue Ryder staff have been wonderful – they’ve become like family to me.

I didn’t realise how much paperwork was involved. I had to write a will, something I had never really thought about at my age. It wasn’t a priority, but now it feels important. I’m still trying to sort out my health power of attorney, and it was only two years ago that I realised that power of attorney and a will are two different things. It took a long time to sort out my pension too. It feels never-ending.

Sue Ryder is always there to help. However, while I can still do things for myself, I want to do it.