Tracey's story
Tracey’s father, David, was cared for by a Sue Ryder Hospice at Home team during the final two weeks of his life in 2023. David had always expressed his wish to die at home – and thanks to the expert and compassionate care provided by the team, this was honoured.
When a hospital scan revealed David had gallbladder cancer and nothing more could be done, it was a day Tracey and her family would never forget.
It felt like a living nightmare. Was this a bad dream? If so, I just wanted to wake up and find Dad was well, but this wasn't to be.
“Every day, Dad declined, but he was desperate to see his childhood home, so we got him into the car and went to Stroud. Dad wanted to see his old garden, and a neighbour invited us to go into her garden to look over the fence. She introduced us to the neighbour on the other side who had lived there all her life, and she remembered Dad. She sat in the car with him while they reminisced about their childhood. It was a magical moment.
“Over the next few days, family and friends came to see Dad and say their final goodbyes. He became much weaker by the day, hardly opening his eyes and barely [said] a word, but we knew he could hear. We made sure he was always surrounded by us, chatting amongst ourselves and reminiscing over the years. We wanted him to know how much love and joy he had given us.
It sounds like a strange thing to say, but he had a perfect death, and we couldn’t have done it without Sue Ryder.
“The staff at Sue Ryder knew that we wanted to keep doing everything we could for Dad, and they let us. They never overstepped the mark, everything was our wish, but they were there for us all supporting us when we needed it most. Their advice was invaluable.
“We got to the point when we couldn’t do as much for him anymore, and Sue Ryder took over a little more. By this point, it didn’t feel like they were strangers. It felt like they were family. As soon as they walked through the door, it was very natural. We never felt pushed out. We were all on one team.
“It was about two weeks that the angels (as Dad called them) from Sue Ryder helped us to look after him, before he died on 20th July 2023. Dad was 77 years old.
It meant absolutely everything to us that the staff at Sue Ryder could help us fulfil Dad’s wish to die at home.
“We knew it meant the world to him too. It sounds like a strange thing to say, but he had a perfect death, and we couldn’t have done it without Sue Ryder – they were our family lifeline.”
Since David died, Tracey and her family have gone on to raise more than £2,000 for Sue Ryder, so that we can continue to care for others.
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