Friday 10 February 2012
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In Loving Memory
2 November 2009
Jo Montgomery (from Collyweston, near Stamford) shares treasured memories of the happiest day of her life with the hope her story will encourage people to support the charity hospice where she got married and her husband died 24 hours after saying ‘I do’.
Weddings usually take months of preparation, but a Collyweston couple organised their big day in just a matter of hours. Jo Dakin - now Montgomery (52) and John Montgomery (37), who was terminally ill with cancer and a brain tumour, married at Sue Ryder - Thorpe Hall Hospice in Peterborough on Monday, 3 August. Sadly, the union was short lived as John died in the early hours the following day.
John, a former carpenter, was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in January 09 and for the past four weeks has been bed-ridden. Knowing that time was not on their side, the couple decided to tie the knot after a light-hearted chat turned into full blown wedding plans.
In the absence of Jo’s deceased father, the blushing bride was given away by her son – which was a special moment for the teenager. Liam (14) said: "It was nice to give her away and I was just glad to be there for my mum. It was quite emotional and hard, but I stayed strong for her throughout the service.
Jo’s story
I was on a night out at a local rock club with the girls and had given up on love. Then I saw John and it was love at first sight. John had the face of an angel - big blue eyes and long curly hair – he literally took my breath away. I remember John saying his first memory of me is lots of hair swirling round my face as I head-banged along to the music. I was 36 and John was 21 but the age gap didn’t matter.
A short while after we met John moved in with me in Orton Goldhay, and then we got our own home shortly after in Walton. We’d talked about getting married but the time never seemed right. I had visions of a big gothic wedding in Cornwall but life just took over; I became pregnant two years after we met and we never seemed to have the time to plan a wedding, let alone the money to pay for one.
Life was great - we had our ups and downs like any couple but nothing serious. Everything changed though in January this year when John was diagnosed with terminal cancer and a brain tumour. We were absolutely devastated to hear the diagnosis. John was always very positive he’d recover and we did everything we could to support that belief. We tried to live day by day, which is a lot harder than it sounds, not being able to plan ahead or look forward to things.
In July this year John’s health deteriorated and he was admitted to Sue Ryder’s Thorpe Hall hospice. We talked about getting married when he was fit again, but after it became clear John was not going to get better we spoke with one of the nurses and then decided to go ahead and get married.
As soon as we’d decided we were going to go for it, I dashed home with John’s sister to gather together wedding outfits for John and I, and call our family to let them know our plans. I wore black trousers and top with a long lace coat with a red bodice, and John looked so gorgeous in a smart black suit. Even our dog, Busta, dressed for the occasion and wore a blue bow around his neck.
During the ceremony I sat one side of John with his mother on the other side. I had a bit of a cry but my overriding memory is joy – it was so beautiful.
However, our wedding really wouldn’t have been possible if it was not for the kind-hearted nurses and team of healthcare professionals at Sue Ryder – Thorpe Hall Hospice, who looked after John. Staff and volunteers at the hospice spun into action after we’d decided to get married and dressed John’s room at the hospice with flowers from the gardens, gathered together some wine apparently left over from a fundraising event and even managed to make a wedding cake in the nick of time.
The day after, unfortunately, John’s health deteriorated even further. We were all at his side; it was an incredibly emotional time and we were all in tears. When he died though I watched as his face relaxed into the ‘face of an angel’ I fell in love with. Thanks to Sue Ryder, John died with dignity and respect. Everybody at the hospice is worth their weight in gold and I’m immensely grateful for their continued support. And, I will keep treasured memories of our wedding day close to my heart always.
I’d encourage everybody to dig deep and support Thorpe Hall Hospice by donating whatever they can afford.
About Sue Ryder – Thorpe Hall Hospice:
Sue Ryder - Thorpe Hall Hospice provides end of life care for people with progressive and advanced illnesses including Cancer, where the focus of care is on quality of life. As well as offering specialist end of life care, the hospice offers care to people living with long term neurological conditions such as Multiple Sclerosis and Motor Neurone Disease through its Day Centre. The hospice relies on the generosity and support of people donating vital funds to continue to provide quality care that makes a real difference to the lives of hundreds of people each year.